JAATISHWAR !!!

When India was under the British Rule, an explorer of Portuguese family started exploring different parts of Bengal, the famous land for its enriched Art and Culture. Hensman Anthony had a hobby of music. Bengalis started liking his voice and named him as Anthony Firingi. Basically, any foreigner coming to Bengal from Europe was given the title, Firingi. At that time, there was the ritual of Sati Daaho in Hindu Community of Bengal. The rule was; if a Hindu woman became a widow when her age is below 50 years, then she was burned alive in the fire with her husband’s dead body. Anthony rescued a Hindu widow, Soudamini from that bloody Sati Daaho ritual and got married to her. Why a Gujarati Student of a European University decided to start a research work on Anthony Firingi? The soul of Anthony Firingi felt impressed and became nostalgic! ‘Pratham alo e phera, aandhar periye ese ami, chena nadir shrotey, chena chena ghat dekhe naami. Chena tobu chena noy, e bhabei shrot boye jaaye, khodar kasam jaan, ami bhalobesechi tomaye.’

Welcome to the ancient town of Farashdanga under Chandannagar, a famous French Colony of the ancient Bengal. ‘Woh sab samajh gaya, lekin Anthony kaun hain?’ The Gujarati student went to the Central Library of Chandannagar. ‘Kusal ektu dekho toh.’ The Assistant Librarian of the Central Library of Chandannagar helped the young man by telling the real life story of Anthony Firingi. ‘Derhsho bachor agey o ami tomaye khuje pather dhare klaanto hoye suyechilam ebhabei thik andhakaar e, ekhon tumi khujte ele! Derhsho bachor agey o ami tomaye cheye gaan likhechi, pukur dhare joler gandhe, bangle bhasha e chokh dhuyechi, ekhon tumi khujte ele.’ Under the British rule, the rhyme song, i.e. Kabigaan was very famous in Bengal. The singers of Kabigaan were popularly known as Kabiyaal. Anthony was getting attracted towards the Kabigaan and hence he decided to learn Bengali language and Bengali music to become a Kabiyaal. In a Kabigaan competition, two Kabiyaals fight with each other. Raja Gopimohan Deb used to enjoy the Kabigaan competition at the Thakur Dalaan of Shobabazar area. Haru Thakur was the famous Kabiyaal at that time and his favourite disciple was Bhola Moyra. ‘O se Bholanath noy re, se Bholanath noy, o jeh Moyra Bhola, Haru r chyala, Bagbazar e roy.’ Let us hear some Kabigaan from Haru Thakur’s voice. ‘Agey jodi sakhi jaaniten, Shyam er o pirit o garal o mishrito karon o ke jodi suniten. Kulabati bala hoiya sarala tobe ki o beesh bhrokiten.’ In any Kabigaan competition, there used to be 5 stages. These 5 stages are:-Bhabani Bishay (Devotional songs on Maa Durga or Maa Kali), Sakhi Sanglaap (Romantic songs on Radha-Krishna Premleela), Biraho (Sad love songs of common people), Kheu (Songs on mythological epics and gods) and Laho (Songs on personal attacks on others with negative criticisms).

Who constructed the Firingi Kali Mandir at Boubazar area of Kolkata? Why Mahamaya was thinking too much about pressing that ADD FRIEND button in Facebook? Anthony Phiringee of Facebook and Mahamaya of Facebook became friends in Facebook only! Rohit composed a new song. ‘Sahosa ele ki, e bhanga jibone, sahosa dile ki khabor jibone, e bhanga sahar jora, bhanga pathe r ekaante se sahasa ele ki e bhanga jibone.’ The Farashdanga Graduate Band registered their name for participating in the Bandemonium 2014 competition regarding the Maitri Bandhan program between West Bengal and Bangladesh. Anthony had his first Kabigaan competition against Jogyeswari, a lady Kabiyaal. The competition started. Jogyeswari sang, ‘Hole Jodi hole sakha adhistaan, hyere mukh galo dukh, duti katha boli praan. Bandi kore prem e khaanto hole krome krome ami kulabati naari, pati chara ki sohite paari. Nahi jano ghar baasa, ki basanta ki barosha, sati re kori nirasha, asati r asha puran.’ Anthony started singing, ‘Pran tumi ar pathe eso na, sudhu dekha debe bole ta bojhe na pran dekha debe. Aaj tumi jaar, basona tahar , kurao kurao basona.’ All the audiences shouted, ‘Sadhu Sadhu’ as Anthony won the musical battle.

Anthony kept on winning the Kabigaan competition. Anthony composed a famous Agamani song on Maa Durga. ‘Jai Jogindra, Jai Mahamaya, mahima aseem tomar, ek baar durga bole je daake maa tomaye, tumi karo taae bhava sindhu paar. Maata ee salil e bhaver kule, durga durga bole bipad kaale, tobu santaan er mukh chaaile na maa?’ Why the Bengali Hindus warned Anthony when Anthony decided to perform Durga Puja at his own house? The Bengali girl met the Gujarati boy again! Anthony had his last Kabigaan competition against Bhola Moyra. Bhola Moyra sang, ‘Ogo chandramukhi, krishna sukhe sukhi, tomaye sadaai dekhi saadh sabakaar. Bidhi ei korun ghuchuk shyam biraha, rai tomar, rai tomar. Chinta naai chintamanir, biraha ghuchilo eto diner por, antare jurao go kishori, he re antare paaka bangshidhar.’ Anthony replied, ‘Je shakti hoyite utpatti, se shakti patni ki karon, kaho dekhi bholanath, er bisesh bibaran. Jano na ki se bham ee tomar shivani, tomare garbhe dhori ami, ekhon holem tomar ramani. Samudra manthan kaal e, beesh paan korechile takhon dekechile durga bole, rakkha karo aaponi, chole chile beesho paan e bachalam stannya paan e, sei din bhule ki bolecho janani.’ But, Bhola Moyra was not in a mood to accept defeat so easily. Bhola Moyra bounced back by singing, ‘Tui jaat firingi jabar jangi, ami  toke paarbo na toh tauraate, sonh re bhrastha boli spashto, tui re nasto maha dusto, tor ki eesto kali keshto, bojge ja tui jishu khristho srerampore er girja teh.’ After an emotional pause for a few seconds, Anthony Firingi counterattacked by singing, ‘Kristey ar Christ e kichu tofaath naai re bhai, sudhu naam er fere manush phere, keho katha soney naai. Amar Khoda jeh; Hindu r Hari se, oi dekho shyam daariye ache, amar manab janam shafal hobe jodi raanga charan paai.’ Bhola Moyra accepted the defeat and gave respect to Anthony by giving the garland of flowers to him and hugged him. Everyone shouted, ‘Sadhu Sadhu.’ Farashdanga Graduate Band performed their song in the Bandemonium 2014. ‘E tumi kamon tumi chokher taara e aayna dharo, e kamon kanna tumi aamaye jakhon aador karo. Janmer ageo janmer poreo janma tumi emon, surer o gabhir surey padabali r dharon jamon. Esechi ageo ami jakhon tumi padmabati, kobekaar punthir shlok, tomar matoi ashrumati.’ How Soudamini got killed? Why Kusal was behaving like a mental patient? After seeing whom, who appreciated the similar ending of two stories as a “JAATISHWAR”?

THE LITTLE MERMAID !!!

‘I will tell you a tale of bottomless blue. Look out, lad, a mermaid be waiting for you in mysterious fathoms below.’ Sebastian, the court composer started the concert. The singers started to sing. ‘Ah! We are the daughters of Triton, great father who loves us and named us well.’ King Triton was the father of seven daughters; Aquata, Andrina, Arista, Attina, Adella, Alana and Ariel. As per the norms, Ariel, the youngest daughter of King Triton was about to have her musical debut on that day, but, alas, she was not there in her shell at that moment. Ariel and Flounder were researching inside a desolate ship. ‘Excitement, adventure, danger lurking around every corner.’ A Shark attacked them, though they managed to remain alive. Scuttle taught Ariel to comb her hair with a fork and to use the pipe as a musical pipe. Ursula was keeping strict vigilance on the little Princess by taking the help of Flotsam and Jetsam. Ariel apologized to her father as she forgot about the concert. Flounder’s extra information made King Triton furious on Ariel. King Triton warned Ariel that she must not go near the surface again. Sebastian said, ‘Uuh! Teenagers! They think they know everything. You give them an inch, they swim all over you.’ King Triton gave a special responsibility on Sebastian’s shoulder. ‘Ariel needs constant supervision.’

Everyone was celebrating the birthday party of Prince Eric on the ship. Grimsby gifted a statue of Eric to Eric. Eric was still in search of a perfect girl for himself. Grimsby rightly said, ‘The entire kingdom wants to see you happily settled with the right girl.’ Ariel heard Eric’s statement; ‘Oh! She is out there somewhere. I just haven’t found her yet. Believe me, Grim, when I find her, I’ll know. Without a doubt, it will just hit me like lightning.’ Yeah! Yeah! You were quite right, Eric. The lightning and the thunderstorm took place at that very moment. The ship was on fire and was about to drown, though all the sailors of the ship boarded safely into a life boat. But, Max was stuck in that ship. Eric went back to that fiery ship to rescue Max. Max was safe, but, Eric was in trouble. Eric was getting drowned but Ariel rescued him at the right time and took him to a sea shore. Ariel was staring at senseless Eric and gradually started falling in love with him. ‘What would I give to live where you are? What would I pay to stay here beside you? What would I do to see you smiling at me? Where would we walk? Where would we run? If we could stay all day in the sun! Just you and me and I could be part of your world.’ When Grimsby and Max saw Eric, at that moment; Ariel, Flounder and Sebastian were hiding behind the rocks. Sebastian requested Flounder to keep it as a secret. King Triton must not know about Ariel’s new love story. On the other hand, Ariel’s heart was not in her control anymore. ‘I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I know something is starting right now. Watch and you will see, someday I will be part of your world.’

Ursula started making a master plan as Ariel fell in love with Eric. Females are expert in understanding the body languages of other females. Ariel’s sisters understood that Ariel has fallen in love with someone. They informed about it to King Triton. King Triton called up Sebastian to know the name of Ariel’s lover. Why King Triton became furious on Ariel and destroyed all her collections which were kept inside a cave? When Ariel was weeping out of sorrow, Flotsam and Jetsam suggested her to meet Ursula. Ursula made a legal deal with Ariel. Ariel was given three days and before the sunset of the third day, Ariel must get a deep kiss of true love from Eric, otherwise, Ariel would remain as a prisoner of Ursula for the whole life. Ariel’s singing voice was snatched by Ursula. Max identified the girl and signalled Eric. Eric met Ariel and took her inside the palace. Both Grimsby and Charlotta were happy as after waiting for a long time, they found a girl who could be a perfect match for Eric. Why Chef Louis had some tough time with Sebastian? Eric and Ariel went for boating. Scuttle had the idea of creating a vocal romantic stimulation, but, alas, Scuttle’s voice was too pathetic. Sebastian took the charge. After all, Sebastian is a musician cum singer. ‘There you see her sitting there across the way. She don’t got a lot to say, but there is something about her and you don’t know why but you are dying to try, you wanna kiss the girl. Yes, you want her. Look at her, you know, you do. Possible she want you too; there is one way to ask her. It don’t take a word. Not a single word. Go on and kiss the girl.’ Eric was just about to kiss Ariel, that Flotsam and Jetsam drowned the boat. Ursula took a disguise. What! Eric is going to get married to another girl? The wedding ship departs. Ariel was feeling helpless and started weeping. Scuttle peeped through the window of the wedding ship. After seeing the reflection of that girl on the mirror, why Scuttle became furious? Flounder and Ariel headed towards that wedding ship. Sebastian made up his mind to inform about it to King Triton. Scuttle was given the task to stall the wedding. Did Ariel succeed in having the deep kiss of true love from Eric before the sunset of the third day as per the legal deal? Who killed Ursula to help King Triton to regain his power again? Eric got married to whom? What permission did King Triton gave along with a divine gift to “THE LITTLE MERMAID”?

HANUMAN.COM !!!

The West Bengal State Government issued a Circular that all the teachers of the Government Schools of West Bengal must become computer literate. For bearing the expenses of computers, Rs. 700/- is being deducted from the salaries of all the teachers of Government Schools of West Bengal. Anjaniputra Sen, the Maths teacher and his wife Tanushree had a daughter, Tiyasha who died a few years back, but their married life was still happier than the married life of other married couple in Swarnakamalpur of Basirhat area of West Bengal. Mithilesh was a divorcee but he wanted to help his ex-wife Mrs. Khastagir to open up a resort near Hasulibagan area. Anjaniputra was not in a mood to sell his ancestral land to Mrs. Khastagir. Mithilesh was happy about Anjaniputra’s decision. After all, a man always dislikes his ex-wife who divorces him. One day, the cable connection got disconnected. The cable boy came to repair the cable line but on the condition that all the due payments of cable connection to be made. Anjaniputra gave his wrist watch to Panchu.

Maria, the German hot chick used to do sex chat on webcam. Andre Olafsson, the Mayor of Reykjevik of Iceland also used to sex chat on webcam with the id of ‘volcano_boy’. The mole on the right cheek of Mr. Olafsson helped Maria to know the real identity of the ‘volcano_boy’. Maria blackmailed Andre by sending him an e-mail. Olafsson traced out the location of Maria with the help of a hacker. Panchu, the cable boy told Mr. Sen about the 3 months free trial Internet Package of BSNL. Panchu also made the Internet setup as well as installed Google Chat in the Personal Computer of the Maths Teacher. Anjaniputra became too addicted to the computer while doing Google Search. Tanushree was feeling bored. Sometimes, Internet teaches you about ignorance by destroying your sweet innocence. ‘Prithibi ta naaki choto hote hote satellite ar cable er haate drawing room e rakha boka baksho teh bandi, aha ha ha. Ghore bosey saara duniya r sathe jogajog aaj haather muthote guchey gache desh kaal simaana r gandi, aha ha ha. Bhebe dekhecho ki tara ra o jato aalok barsho doorey, taar o doorey, tumi ar ami jaai kromey sorey sorey, aha ha ha.’

Anjaniputra and Maria became online friends. Maria renamed Anjaniputra as George Clooney. Anjaniputra was stunned to see such a hot figure of Maria. But, who murdered that girl? Who saw the live coverage of that murder? One day, the Maths Teacher wrote a letter to his beloved wife and started his journey towards Reykjevik of Iceland. Hasan, a Bangladeshi understood that Anjaniputra is a Bengali by just seeing him only for the first time. A Bangladeshi and a Bengali of West Bengal became good friends in Iceland. Hasan took Anjaniputra to his house. Hasan started calling him as George. George told them the entire story. Hasan’s daughter Noori promised to help George. Panchu started the investigation and helped Tanushree to get a clue. Tanushree thought that her hubby went to Munich of Germany but she was wrong. A telephone call helped Mr. Sen to understand that Maria was a German girl. German clocks are unique in their own way. Who became senseless after seeing the murderer? Why Hasan told his friend to go back to West Bengal?

Noori requested Anjaniputra to stay back in Iceland. Computer is also like a house which has doors and windows. Noori hacked into the Mayor’s computer. Hasan’s daughter checked the inbox of Andre’s email id, but didn’t find that important e-mail. ‘Swapan Kumar bole je khuni r barite giye dustbin dekhte.’ Actually, Swapan Kumar was a favourite fictional detective character of Anjaniputra Sen. In Bengal, Tanushree was still waiting for her hubby to return back home. Noori found that important e-mail from the Trash. 90% of Internet Users worldwide forget to delete the contents of Recycle Bin or Trash. Many people don’t use the ‘SHIFT + DELETE’ command. Andre Olafsson was surprised to see so many e-mails from the e-mail id of Maria Fischer. The masks of drama are sometimes too useful. ‘Don’t play anymore. Chagol ke Baagh er saamne phelte hobe. The game has to end somewhere.’ Was the murderer of that hot chick got arrested by Iceland Police Department and handed over to German Police Department? Did the German cops find her dead body? A caterpillar becomes a butterfly to fly here and there, but, Anjaniputra Sen had to return back home as his wife, Tanushree Sen was still waiting for him to end this cyber related adventurous story which can be named as “HANUMAN.COM”.

JAMALAY JIBANTA MANUSH !!!

Siddeshwar alias Sidu and Madhuri alias Madhu were madly in love with each other. Sidu used to took the help of his pet Ox, Bhola; to enter into the territory of Hari Narayan’s house to meet Madhuri secretly. Sidu and Madhuri planned to meet each other in the lonely Beauty Bagan of that village on every afternoon. Hari Narayan, the Zamindar of the village became furious on Mr. Dutta as Mr. Dutta recommended Sidu as the future groom of Madhuri. While dating inside the Beauty Bagan, Sidu requested Madhuri to sing a romantic song. But, Madhuri sang a Shyama Sangeet, ‘Maa tui emon kano holi? Pati r buk e charan rekhe laaj er matha kheli. Maa tui emon kano holi?’ Sidu felt uncomfortable and uttered, ‘Shaushan, Maa; uuh. Chand, furfure haowa, phool, baataayan kichui nei.’

The members of Hatimsoor Natya Sangha were dissatisfied with their Sidu da. Sidu used to skip the rehearsals as he had to meet his lover secretly every day. The entire club cum theatre members suggested Sidu to get married to Madhuri. At least, after marriage, Sidu would concentrate fully on the drama rehearsals. Sidu liked the idea as he appreciated, ‘Satyi ee bhabchi, biye ta kano etodin korini? Biye ta korei pheli ki bolish?’ Sidu planned to get married to Madhuri despite Hari Narayan’s objection. Sidu’s friends supported Sidu in this regard. ‘Amader opor baddo chotpaat kare, o jamon buno ol amrao temni bagha tentul.’ Madhuri secretly heard the conversation of her parents. Hari Narayan was planning about the marriage of Madhuri with a son of a ship owner of Kolkata.

Sidu and Madhuri got married to each other secretly as per Hindu rituals. Hari Narayan ordered his men to attack Sidu and his friends. Sidu got injured. Hari Narayan ordered his wife to keep the married Madhuri locked inside the four walls. On that night, Madhuri came out of the house to jump into the river water. Villagers didn’t find the dead body of Madhuri but everyone assumed that Madhuri has committed suicide by drowning herself into the river water. The depressed Sidu planned to go out of the village to freshen up his mind. Sidu gave all the responsibilities of his property to his Pishima (aunt) and donated Bhola, the Ox to a Brahmin priest. Sidu went out of the village and was roaming here and there in a town. On that night, Sidu was having a nice sleep in the balcony of a house of the town.

As per the destined data of Yam Lok, one person was about to commit suicide in that town. Chitragupta, the Special Assistant of Yamraj ordered Lambadhar and Chitrakarma to collect the soul of that person who was about to commit suicide. The two Yamdoots had a very tough time to find the exact address of that person as in that town; the House Numbers were not in serial order. In earlier days, Yamdoots could make out easily that a person has died in a locality as everyone used to cry loudly, but, nowadays, humans have become so selfish that they don’t get the time to cry loudly as they start searching for those valuable keys of that dead person. To save their job, both the Yamdoots didn’t waste any more time to search the dead body. Instead they took a living person with a backup plan that they will kill the person before entering the Yam Lok.

At the entrance of Yam Lok, Sidu gave some katukutu and sursuri to both Lambadhar and Chitrakarma to enter inside the Yam Lok. Inside the Yam Lok, the Yamraj is the judge of all the sins that you have committed throughout your life as a human being. Pishima died of cholera and it was her judgement day. As a Hindu Widow, Pishima thought about eating a Batasha with water on Ekadashi day. As per Yam Lok’s rule, if you think about committing a sin, it is a sin, but, if you think about doing something good, then it is not counted as a virtue. Sidu requested Yamraj to release Pishima by taking account of half of the cumulative virtues gained by him throughout his life. Chitragupta ordered his Clerk Bichitragupta to search the Life Record (LR) Book of Sidu. Bichitragupta gave a serial number to a Daftary to take out that LR Book from the library.

Bichitragupta read from the LR Book of Sidu that Sidu have done many good deeds in Martya Lok, e.g. helping the poor people, standing beside the needy people in times of danger, etc. But, Yamraj was not convinced. Why Sidu said, ‘Pishi o toh sudhu bhebechilo, taar belaye paap holo, amar belaye bhebe punyi hobe na kano?’ Yamraj admitted that there are some loopholes in the judiciary of Yam Lok. Bichitragupta, the young Clerk was more efficient than the old Special Assistant, Chitragupta. ‘Ekei bole young blood, kirom chatpote dekhun dekhi.’ Sidu donated an Ox to a Brahmin Priest. That was considered as a virtue. As an example, Yamraj wanted to see that Ox. Bhola became a healthy Ox after coming to hell. Pishima got transferred to Vishnu Lok as Sidu donated half of his virtues to Pishima.

Sidu wanted to meet Lord Vishnu, but, Yamraj denied the permission. Sidu ordered his pet Ox, Bhola to attack Yamraj and his staffs. Bichitragupta was yet to become a confirmed Clerk as he was still in his probation period after doing the job in Yam Lok for 2,93,20,000 years and 6 months. ‘Ekhono chakri paaka hoyni.’ ‘O ekhono paakoni.’ Yamraj and Chitragupta came to Lord Vishnu for help. Lord Vishnu sent Narad Muni to get some secret information from Sidu, but, Sidu was too smart enough to tackle Narad Muni. Lord Vishnu came to meet Sidu in the disguise of a Brahmin. Sidu told about corruption in Yam Lok and Swarga Lok to Lord Vishnu. ‘Indra jal deyena, Varun ghumocche, Kuber benami teh taaka lutche.’ Only India is preaching about peace. Lord Vishnu got impressed with Sidu and gave him permit to all Loks of the Universe.

Sidu entered into the Shiva Lok where the followers of Nandi and Bhingi were fighting with each other. Sidu gave them punishment and climbed up the Kailash Parvat to have a chat session with Nandi and Bhingi. ‘Bom Bom, Bom Bholanath, dum diye jeh khyapa nache tatha toi.’ Maa Durga always becomes deaf after the Durga Puja festival as she has to experience too much sound pollution in Martya Lok. Nandi and Bhingi suggested Sidu to search Madhuri in the Indra Lok. In Madhabi Bitan, Madhuri and Sidu met each other again. In Lord Indra’s palace, Apsara Urvashi Devi, Rambha Devi and Menaka Devi got a new dance teacher of modern dance! What request did Sidu and Madhuri made to Lakshmi Devi when Lord Vishnu told Sidu to return to Martya Lok? Ultimately, what happened to Madhuri and “JAMALAY JIBANTA MANUSH”?